There is only one person I can ever really work on, and that is me. Forgetting that fact can be very painful. The fastest way to convert someone from being a victim to being a warrior is through inspiration. People being inspired by your demonstration of “what happened to me when I worked on me”. People being inspired from inside themselves. Victims and pessimists hate to be fixed, hate to be corrected and even hate to be taught things. Because their whole position is defensive.
If my intention is to help someone become a happier person, I want to make sure I don’t produce the opposite of that by judging them. I don’t want to push them deeper into their own pessimism by trying to fix them. And so many people make that mistake. They criticize their spouse or children and it only drives them deeper into themselves. All they hear is that there is something wrong with me, I don’t understand you and I don’t approve of you. Now there is even greater alienation. So all this fixing, correcting, improving and criticizing does not work with people. Therefore, it qualifies as a waste of time. The fastest, best way to connect with others is through something called inspiration.
Religions are started not by what a person teaches but by who that person is “being”. The inner glow. The feeling people get when they are by his or her side. The teaching part might come later. “Being” always comes first. Look back on your own life. All the major changes you have made that have moved you toward the light. Toward greater creativity. Hasn’t it always begun with inspiration? Has it ever occurred through somebody criticizing you, fixing, you, making you wrong and hurting? That is not a route to change. It will not change another person.