People who live their lives reacting emotionally to the behavior of other people, truly are miserable. They wake up in the morning and begin their day reacting to all the bad news on the radio or on the television, all the crime, all the injustice, all the evidence that they can’t trust people. What is needed is a gentle shift. Not a huge change, but a shift, just like the gentle shift of gears in a finely-tuned car. We need to shift from reacting to creating. All of this reacting we do is a habit and because it’s only a habit, like any habit, it’s completely reversible. The good news is, habits are quite easily changed – especially relationship habits.

One of the first steps on the path out of the habit of reacting to people is to ask ourselves a simple question. It’s a question first asked by Ralph Waldo Emerson many years ago. “Why should my happiness depend on the thoughts going on in someone else’s head?” This question, no matter how we answer it in any given moment, gives us the mental perspective we need to start seeing the possibilities for creating relationships. As soon as we begin asking ourselves questions, we’re on the right path because we’re leaving the low life of deep negative emotions behind. We’re rising up. Far above the butterflies in our stomach, above the pain in our heart, above the tightness in the throat. We are up there. In the mind. In the imagination. Higher still. We’re in our spirit now. We’re climbing the internal ladder up to spirit. That’s where great relationships get created. From the spirit.